Thursday, January 15, 2009

How to make your church guest-friendly by Rick Warren

I like his suggestions... some of them won't work in certain churches, but can be adapted and adopted fairly easily. May the Lord bless you this year as your serve Him! - Andrew

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A guest’s first 12 minutes dramatically influence whether they’re coming back or not. You never get a second chance to make
a first impression.

Rick Warren

There are a lot of reasons a church might grow. Sometimes people come because of the preaching. Sometimes people come because of the music. Some people like the great programs for kids and youth.

But I’m convinced there’s an often overlooked factor in church growth: Growing churches are friendly to guests. All churches think they’re friendly, but when you take a good look at them, you often discover they’re friendly to people who have been attending for 15 years or more – not to new people.

A guest’s first 12 minutes dramatically influence whether they’re coming back or not. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. When non-Christians come to your church for the first time, their number one emotion is fear. What will people think? What are they going to do? Am I going to have to sign something, sing something, sacrifice something, or say something? They don’t know what’s going on, and they’re scared to death.

Your first goal with guests (and by the way, I never call them visitors) is to get them to relax. Then you can communicate with them. When people are afraid, their barriers are up and it’s like, “I dare you to teach me something!” No matter how good your sermon is, they won’t listen to the Good News about Jesus until they get past those fears. You need to put guests at ease.

How do you do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Reserve your best parking spots for guests. It just shows you’re thinking about them. If you had guests for dinner at your house, you’d probably do whatever it took to make them feel more comfortable. You’d give them your best silverware and your best dishes. You might ask them about food preferences before you plan the meal. You should show the same type of courtesies to guests at your church.

  • Station greeters outside your building. You need people strategically placed around your campus to greet guests. At Saddleback, we used to play a game. I would dare people to get into the building without having their hand shaken at least three times. We place greeters way out in the parking lot. Why? We’ve found that people hate to be greeted publicly during the service, but they love to be greeted personally.

  • Set up an information table. Put all sorts of information on the table that might help people find their way around. Put maps out with classrooms and restrooms easily marked. Put out brochures about the church that give people information they can take home and read at their convenience. Most importantly, have hosts stationed there to help people find their way around. Make sure your hosts know where the restrooms are and where the children should go!

  • Have taped music playing when people enter. In America almost every public building has music playing. Even in the elevator, music is playing. You go into the restroom and music is playing. You go into a restaurant and music is playing. Why? Because people expect to hear music. If you walked into a church right now and everyone was dead silent when you walked in, you’d probably be uncomfortable. On the other hand, if you heard fairly loud praise music playing, you’d feel much more comfortable.

    Here’s something interesting I’ve found: If you play soft music, people talk softly. But if you play loud music, people talk louder. When non-Christians come into your church, they want it to be noisy. They want to hear what’s going on.

  • Allow guests to remain anonymous in the service. Please don’t make guests stand up. The three greatest fears people have are going to a party with strangers, having to speak before a crowd, and being asked personal questions in public. So when we ask our guests to tell us their name and where they are from in front of everyone, we subject them to all three of their greatest fears at one time. Bad idea.

    How do you identify guests if you don’t have them stand up? Have them fill out a welcome card. Then someone from the church can connect with them later.

  • Offer a warm, casual public welcome that relaxes people. If you want to make guests feel welcome, you’ve got to be at ease yourself. That’s what most people expect – just watch the late-night TV shows. Like it or not, how the pastor and the worship leader interact with each other sets the tone for good or for bad in a service.

    In early years at Saddleback we used to say, “If this is your first time at Saddleback, we’re glad you’re here. We want you take a deep breath, sit back, relax, and enjoy the service.” You know where I got that? I heard someone say it on an airline once! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. All we’re trying to do is help them relax and then make them feel comfortable.

  • Begin and end each service by having people greet each other. Five times in the New Testament Christians are told to greet one another and share affection. I’ll say during the service, “Turn around and give somebody a hug. Turn around and give somebody a handshake.” I’ve been told by some that’s the only physical touch they get all week. And human beings need touch. It’s a great way to help lower the barriers of your guests.

  • Offer a refreshment table at each service. Today in our society, it’s not appropriate to just stand in a crowd doing nothing. You have to have something in your hand. That’s why they have cocktail parties. People like to have something in their hand when they’re hanging out and mingling. Out on the patio, I’ll see a 300-pound guy who thinks he’s hiding behind a Styrofoam cup! He’s very comfortable as long as he has something in his hand if somebody looks at him and he’s not talking.

You have to break down the fear barriers before people will ever open up to your message and consider coming back to your church. Try these guest-friendly tips in coming weeks, and help your church grow in 2009.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Latest & Greatest

Praise
1. Our new minister Jacky (English name of course). He has been acting as the minister for quite some time now, so it wasn't difficult for the church here to begin paying him for his service. This is a great step for the congregation! Their first local minister. Jacky is a great servant. He has a wife and child. Please keep them all in your prayers.
2. Praise God! We had several guests on Sunday! Our church family is growing in many ways, one of which is evangelism.
3. Thanking God for fun times! Jaime arranged an ice skating trip on Sunday. Children from the orphanage, some folks from Haidian, and our group were all represented quite well. (The rink didn't have Andrew's size skates, so he went to the coffee shop to keep warm.)

Plans
1. Our team will all be doing a bit of traveling January and February. Some to the US, others to former ministry locations, and still others for a bit of vacationing.
2. The university area group is planning to start a new church this year and they have already targeted an area in the southern part of the city. Praise God!
3. Our church is reading through the Bible in two years. What we read through the week will be used for preaching on Sunday.

Ongoing Efforts
1. The Sichuan families have been receiving regular prayers, phone calls, visits, and 1000RMB/monthly from a fund that churches in the States and a few throughout China have contributed to. We ask you to faithfully lift up these children and their families to our Father:
  1. Tong Zhong Cheng (boy--14)--lost one leg
  2. Ma Cong (boy--11)--lost one leg; lost his father and older sister
  3. Luo Ying (girl--9) lost one arm and one leg
  4. Shang Ting (girl--10) lost one eye, index finger on one hand, and both legs; buried more than 120 hours.
  5. Wen Jing (girl--12) lost right hand; 2 broken legs
  6. Wang Xiao Wei (boy--12) lost one leg
  7. Jiang Ping Ping (girl--10) one leg badly broken and mangled
  8. Zhao Chen (boy--11) broken shoulder
  9. Ren Si Yu (girl--6) severe leg injury; nerve damage on one side of body; lost her father
The major injuries have been listed above, yet nearly all the children had severe cuts and wounds all over the body. Many of them have deep scars in their scalps from head injuries. All of them, except for Si Yu, were inside school buildings that collapsed during the earthquake. Si Yu ran outside with her class (first grade being on first floor) but they were all covered up by the landslide when a huge piece of the nearby mountain can down. She was the last one out the door with her teacher so her teacher put her arms around her to protect her. The teacher and all the other children perished, only Si Yu survived.

2. Wednesday Night Seekers Study
We have had a new wave of people coming to our Wednesday night studies. It might be a blessing, but we are not sure how just yet because many of them are already believers and their English is quite good. We have asked a few to allow the non-believers to be involved more and reminded them of the purpose of the study - to reach the non-believers.

3. Building Relationships
On different occasions, we had folks over for Mexican and a pizza & game night. While we are busy with language studies, Bible studies, and various other appointments, we are wanting to reach out more. We really want to deepen our connections with the local brothers and sisters. Of course the difficulty is that we are not even close to being conversant in Chinese.

My Facebook account (or Jaime's) has recent pictures of travels and fun times.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Seven Foundations of Jesus’ Leadership by Rick Warren

There are no perfect leaders. I’m not a perfect leader. Neither are you. But Jesus is. There’s no better teacher on leadership than Jesus. What made him such as effective leader? Lots of reasons. In this article I’ll give you seven of them.

1. Identification: I must know who I am. To be a leader you’ve got to know who you are. All great leaders know their strengths and their weaknesses. We’re a bundle of both. Leadership is not ignoring one in favor of the other. It’s being honest about them. Good leaders don’t try to be something they are not. They are self-aware.

Jesus had no doubt about his identity. He said:
• I am the light of the world.
• I am the Son of God.
• I am the way.
• I am the truth.
• I am the life.
• I am the bread of life.

Jesus defines himself 18 times by saying, “I am…” He didn’t let other people define him. He defined himself. If you’re going to be a leader, you must know who you are.

2. Clarification: Know what you want to accomplish. You must clarify what God has called you to do with your life. The direction of your life is your choice. If you don’t like the direction your life is headed right now, change it. Nobody’s holding a gun to your head. Nobody’s making you a victim. Nobody’s forcing you to serve in the manner you’re serving.

Jesus knew exactly what God had called him to do. He was a straightforward leader who established clear-cut goals. In John 8 Jesus says, “I know where I came from and I know where I’m going.” Jesus had a clear purpose. He knew not only who he was, but what was he trying to do with his life. He truly was a purpose-driven leader.

God has a purpose for your life and ministry. If you don’t fulfill it, you have wasted your life. You were put on earth to live for the purpose God created you for. A leader knows that purpose and pursues it with passion.

3. Motivation: Know who you’re trying to please. You need to settle the issue of motivation. You can’t please everybody. Just about the time you get one person happy, you’ll tick someone else off.

Jesus lived for an audience of One. His whole purpose was to please his heavenly Father. Jesus says this in John 5, “I only try to please the One who sent Me.” Jesus wasn’t trying to win a popularity contest; he just wanted to please God.

That’s a lesson we have to learn as leaders. You’ve got to learn not to care about the opinions of others. You’ve got to focus on God’s opinion of what you’re doing. Don’t pay attention to those who cheer you or jeer you. Either one will sidetrack you.

4. Collaboration: Work with a small group. You never lead by yourself. You always do it in context of a team. All great leaders are great team builders. In fact, if you don’t have a team, you’re not a leader. You’re a loner. The test of leadership is whether anyone is following you.

Jesus modeled this kind of ministry. He never did ministry alone. Mark 3:14 says, “He appointed twelve – designating them apostles – that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.” Jesus enlisted other people to serve the cause with him.

If God gives you a vision for your ministry, he’s going to bring other people with the same idea together with you. If nobody agrees on your idea, guess what? It’s not from God.

5. Concentration: Focus on what’s important. Leaders must focus on what’s important. Life is filled with things that will distract you from what’s important. Sometimes we can be distracted by good things as well. If Satan can’t mess up your life by getting you to do wrong things, he’ll mess up your life by giving you too many good things to do.

Jesus was a master of concentration. He focused his life like a laser. He refused to be distracted. Luke 9:51 says, “As the time drew near for his return to heaven, he moved steadily onward toward Jerusalem with an iron will.” He headed toward Jerusalem to die on the cross for us. He did it with an iron will. He would not let anything distract him from what was important.

Your ministry has incredible potential. But that ministry potential won’t be realized until you decide what’s really important. Settle on what’s most important, and God will use your life like you could never imagine.

6. Meditation: Listen to God.
Make listening to God a habit of your life. Jesus did. Prayer was a regular part of his life. The Bible tells us in Mark 1:35, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

If Jesus needed to get alone and listen to God, don’t you think that you need to? You need quiet times to reflect, renew, and recharge. You need time to just get alone, be quiet, and listen to God.

7. Relaxation: Take time to recharge. Leadership is draining. It’s hard work. We all need time to just relax. Jesus encouraged his very busy disciples to take some time for relaxation. Mark 6:31 says, “Crowds of people were coming and going so that they did not even have time to eat. He [Jesus] said to them [the disciples], ‘Come away by yourselves, and we’ll go to a lonely place to get some rest.’”

Jesus realized the disciples had been busy serving, and they were tired. They needed a break. So he told them to get away and rest. Rest is so important that God put it in the Ten Commandments. The fourth commandment says this: every seventh day you take a day off. Pastor, this applies to you as well. You need a day away from the church.

Years ago I learned a key to lasting in leadership: divert daily, withdraw weekly, and abandon annually.

Divert daily means doing something fun every day. Get a hobby. Do something that relaxes you.

Withdraw weekly means you take a day off every week for relaxation and restoration.

Abandon annually means you get away and forget everything for some time each year.

Your leadership is a key ingredient to helping your church become what God has called it to be. In fact, the Bible says this in Proverbs 11:14, “Without wise leadership a nation is in trouble.” That’s true of every single area of life. Without wise leadership, your church is in trouble. Learn about leadership from Jesus. We have no better guide.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Blogging...

I have been keeping my new blog www.daily-discipline.blogspot.com pretty faithfully for the past 35 or so days. In that time, I have come to realize maintaining to blogs is a little difficult and time consuming. I have not decided what I'll do about it, but maybe this one will become a place to post a few pictures, share those inspirational links that I find, and ... but wait, I do all that and more on Facebook!

For all those reasons, I am just not sure what will become of this blog... any suggestions?

Friday, January 2, 2009

How to Be Thankful in Tough Times by Rick Warren

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

1. Don’t worry about anything. Worrying doesn’t change anything. It’s stewing without doing. There’s no such thing as born worriers; worry is a learned response. You learned it from your parents. You learned it from your peers. You learned it from experience. That’s good news. The fact that worry is learned means it can also be unlearned. Jesus says, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

2. Pray about everything. Use the time you’ve spent worrying for praying. If you prayed as much as you worried, you’d have a whole lot less to worry about. Some people think God only cares about religious things, such as how many people I invite to church or my tithing. Is God interested in car payments? Yes. He’s interested in every detail of your life. That means you can take any problem you face to God.

3. Thank God in all things. Whenever you pray, you should always pray with thanksgiving. The healthiest human emotion is not love, but gratitude. It actually increases your immunities; it makes you more resistant to stress and less susceptible to illness. People who are grateful are happy. But people who are ungrateful are miserable because nothing makes them happy. They’re never satisfied; it’s never good enough. So if you cultivate the attitude of gratitude, of being thankful in everything, it reduces stress in your life.

4. Think about the right things. If you want to reduce the level of stress in your life, you must change the way you think. The way you think determines how you feel, and the way you feel determines how you act. So if you want to change your life, you need to change what you’re thinking about.

This involves a deliberate, conscious choice where you change the channels. You choose to think about the right things: focus on the positive and on God’s Word. Why? Because the root cause of stress is the way you choose to think.

When we no longer worry, when we pray about everything, when we give thanks, when we focus on the right things, the apostle Paul tells us the result is, “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

What a guarantee! He is guaranteeing peace of mind.

© 2009 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Quarter of Remembrance

The Quarter of Remembrance by Mike Cope (reprinted)

I actually got to meet Dr. Channing Barrett, though I don’t remember the meeting because I was too young. But that doesn’t change my picture of him as a young man walking a marathon of miles every weekend. In my mind, I see him returning home to Blissfield, Michigan around the turn of the century.

Channing Barrett was one of eight boys and was the first ever in the Barrett family to go to college. From his medical school, he walked twenty-five miles home each weekend, always returning a couple days later with clean clothes, a food packet, and a dollar.

Dr. Barrett became one of the first ob-gyns in Chicago, practicing at Cook County Hospital. He was known widely both for his innovative surgical techniques and for his ambidextrous skills that allowed him to change hands during long procedures.

There was no patient whom he wouldn’t accept. He delivered many “tenement babies” for fifty cents and many babies for the wives of Mafia dons for a good bit more!

With a growing, respected medical practice, a wonderful wife, and three children, this young physician seemed to be living the idyllic life. He enjoyed riding horses and lifting weights, and was an early member of the Polar Bear Society–that “unique” group that takes to the chilly waters of Lake Michigan in January each year to prove–well, who knows what they’re trying to prove?

And then World War I interrupted this Norman Rockwell life. Dr. Barrett left Chicago to run a field hospital in France, followed shortly by his 17-year-old son, who fought in the trenches.

As long as he could, Barrett sent money back to his wife and daughters. But by the last year of the war, his funds were nearly exhausted. He had no more to mail home. Mrs. Barrett sold most of what they owned, trying desperately to keep her daughters fed and clothed without having to lose their house.

By the time Christmas rolled around in 1918, there were no presents to place under the tree. They were lucky to have a place to live.

But Mrs. Barrett had managed, despite all the financial scrimping, to save two quarters. So on Christmas morning, when the girls emptied their stockings, under the paper dolls their mother had cut out for them and under a couple pieces of candy, they each found a coin.

Previous Christmas mornings had been more lavish, filled with frilly dresses and expensive toys. And there would be more such mornings in the future. But this was the Christmas the family would always remember.

In the future, even during the years of plenty, when the girls emptied their stockings, they always found–under the apples, oranges, nuts, and candy–a quarter.

It was a reminder–a reminder that some years are good while others aren’t too good. Some years deliver new babies, promotions, raises, and great promises. Other years offer sickness, failure, death, and deep disappointment.

The quarter reminded them about both possibilities. It warned them not to write off all the pain of the past as if it didn’t exist. It taught them that the sorrows and wounds of their lives had shaped their characters as much as their joys and accomplishments.

Anyone who takes seriously the Christmas stories of scripture knows that the first Christmas had more than angels, shepherds, wise men, and a mother nursing her baby. There was also the anguish of childbirth. There were the pungent, impolite odors of an animal pen. There was an old man who held the baby and told his mother, “A sword will pierce your own soul too.” There were the voices of many mothers screaming for their baby boys being slaughtered by a demented ruler named Herod. There was a breathless escape to Egypt.

The entrance of God’s Son into the world meant peace–but it didn’t assure that people would get along. It meant great joy–but it didn’t mean we’d always be happy. And it meant unconditional love–though it never implied that everyone would act lovingly.

And so one family, year after year, continued dropping a quarter of remembrance into the bottom of each child’s stocking.

At least one of Channing Barrett’s children picked up that tradition. Every year through the ’30s, ’40s, and ’50s, her five children, Dr. Barrett’s grandchildren, pulled their stockings off the chimney on Christmas morning to find quarters buried under fruit, nuts, and candy.

And at least one of those five passed it on to her four children. And at least one of those four is passing it on to his children.

The quarter has mysteriously tied this family together–binding even generations who never met. Together they have remembered that bad year in 1918 and other bad years since.
- One year brought the safe birth of a new nephew; another brought the self-inflicted death of a relative who couldn’t keep fighting the demons of his life;
- One year brought the thrilling news from the gynecologist that a baby was on the way; another brought the news from the pediatrician that the baby wasn’t developing right;
- Some years brought joy; others brought deep, deep pain.

The quarter is a remembrance that the meaning of Christmas is deeper than our triumphs and sorrows. It is a joy that can’t fully be expressed, a peace that passes understanding.

For years my children have followed this tradition started by their Great, Great Grandmother Barrett. Together, we’ve experienced the love of God, woven through the fabric of good days and dark days.

Eleven Christmases ago [fourteen Christmases now] the quarter represented a burden that was crushing our hearts. Not long before Christmas of 1994 our ten-year-old daughter, Megan, took her last breath in the pediatric ICU at Hendrick. Her death was surely the darkest moment in our lives. We felt very connected to Matthew’s Christmas story, the one that tells of “Rachel weeping for her children” (Matthew 2:17).

And then five Christmases later, our family returned to that grief, for in June of 1999 my brother’s son, Jantsen BARRETT Cope, died suddenly and unexpectedly after lifting weights with his high school football team. We barely survived as we gathered in my parents’ living room that Christmas without my nephew’s big, joyful laughs. Fifteen is too young to die. Our quarters were quarters of grief.

But by God’s grace, we have survived. We’re still together, we still love, we still hope, we still believe in that one who was born in Bethlehem.

This Christmas there is still that gaping hole of absence. And yet our quarters will also represent joy. For when people gave money as a memorial to Jantsen, my brother and sister-in-law prayed about a place to let that money be used in the name of Christ. Through a ministry of their church, they traveled to Vietnam to visit an orphanage. They only went intending to give money. But there in a foreign country, across an ocean, on soil where American and Vietnamese soldiers had died, my brother looked into the eyes of a little guy whose name was Vihn, but is now Van – Van Cope. A year later in the same place they looked into the eyes of a sweet Vietnamese girl who is now Tatum Cope.

As Randall Frame has written, “Christmas does not deny sorrow its place in the world. But the message of Christmas is that joy is bigger than despair, that peace will outlast turmoil, that love has crushed all the evil, hatred, and pain the world at its worst can muster.”

That’s why this Christmas Eve, late in the evening, my wife and I will slip a quarter into the bottom of the stockings of our boys and our daughter-in-law.

The quarter will always remind them of a story that is truer than life: that God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son. There in that simple manger in Bethlehem, “the hopes and fears of all the years” found their fulfillment. God had broken into a world of great darkness with the light of his Son.

And yet while the Kingdom of God came in Jesus Christ, we haven’t yet experienced it fully. That’s why the church has continued to pray for 2000 years, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” In the meantime, in the words of scripture, we groan, we long, we wait, we hope.

We live in the belief that our simple acts of kindness and giving are not without meaning because Christ has come. And we live in hope that one day the Lord Jesus will come again and all tears will be wiped from our eyes.

That’s the story of Christmas. I know it’s true. I’d bet you a quarter!

Happy New Year! 2009 is Here!

This is from our newsletter... if you would like to receive our newsletter, send me an email.

Welcome to 2009! We can only believe that this year will be more blessed than last year.

In 2009 we saw God greatly at work in our life. We have been blessed with:
1. a deeper love and appreciation for God and one another
2. a sponsoring congregation that is generous, loving, Christ-centered, and very globally focused
3. a home in Beijing complete with a great ministry team, wonderful church family, and a bunch of enjoyable Chinese teachers at our school
4. more personal discipline in reading, praying, and studying God's Word
5. increasing understanding of our families' relationship to us and one another.

We celebrated Christmas in Shiyan with our old church family, friends, and students. Andrew was blessed to be able to preach on Sunday morning sharing a message about discipleship, "Who is your Rabbi?" This message primarily focused on following Jesus with full dedication, using every moment as both a learning opportunity and a witnessing opportunity.

On the way there and on our return trip, we were able to share the Word of God with many people. We gave out 17 Bibles marked with Genesis, Proverbs, and Matthew 5-7 to our taxi drivers, and families & individuals on the train. For more info read the blogs from 12-25-2008 to 12-30-2008 at http://daily-discipline.blogspot.com/.

Before leaving for Shiyan, we copied our friends cookie ministry (click for Facebook photos) idea... and are praying for a great harvest not of cookies, but of new found followers of our Father. To read more about this check out my blog (click here).

Prayers & Plans for 2009
(http://www.stephencovey.com/community/goal_manager/ is going to help with many of our goals!):
1. Grow closer to God and love our neighbors more
2. Tell more neighbors about God's love (and find more ways to do it)
3.
Build an even closer relationship with family
4. Speak Mandarin more fluently
5
. Increase in healthy living practices

A great article about the changing culture of China:
With Strikes, China's New Middle Class Vents Anger